Social relations
Social relationships
Self-regulation
Lying in families
New research from the Fami-LIES team: all Dutch parents can participate: biological parents, bonus parents and adoptive parents. Want to join right away? The questionnaire (only in Dutch) is available here
In everyday life, parents regularly tell a white lie, to a neigbor, a friend or their partner. But do fathers and mothers also lie to their own children? We all know a few examples: “We are out of cookies!” or “Netflix is out of order.” What do fathers and mothers think about telling lies to children? Do they ever tell such a lie? And what do they teach their children about lying and being honest?
These questions are central to a new study by Rianne Kok and her Fami-LIES team from Erasmus University Rotterdam. “In this unique study, we ask parents for their views on various forms of lying to children, from lies to protect children to lies parents tell to make complicated parenting situations easier for themselves.” In the questionnaire we present various forms of lying and we always ask what parents think of such lies and whether they ever tell such a lie themselves. ALL Dutch parents can participate in the survey: biological parents, bonus parents and adoptive parents. In addition, parents with children of all ages can participate, whether you have very young children or children who are already adults. “We hope to hear from as many different fathers and mothers as possible what they think about this.”
Would you like to participate and/or read more information about the research? Then click here
Dr. Rianne Kok
Researcher Clinical Child & Family Studies
Since starting my research career over ten years ago, the question of why some children struggle more than others to act according to the social norms and values of their family, school, and society has fascinated me. My research contributes to a better understanding of the social origins of children’s regulation of behavior, emotions, and cognition and their moral development in early childhood. Focusing on ecological validity and observational paradigms, I aim to better understand how children adapt to various social settings. As a lecturer, I aspire to inspire students to critically reflect on scientific and societal issues in the field of clinical child and family studies, and actively involve them in my ongoing research projects. A major drive in my academic career is my close connections with (inter)national research colleagues and students, societal partners, families, and schools.
Research Areas
I endeavor to explore how early social relationships and interactions shape the regulation of cognitive and emotional processes that help one to function according to social norms and standards in society.
SELF-regulation
I study the development of self-regulation in early childhood and how this is shaped by family and school contexts
dysregulation
I investigate how dysregulation is passed on in highly vulnerable families characterized by psychopathology or socio-economic difficulties
Lying in families
Using novel methodologies and unique perspectives, I aim to identify the early roots of lying and moral dissonance within families
SELF-regulation
I investigate the development of self-regulation in early childhood and how this is shaped by factors in the family and school context
dysregulation
I study how dysregulation is passed on in highly vulnerable families characterized by psychopathology or socio-economic difficulties
lying in families
Using novel methods and unique perspectives, I aim to identify the early roots of lying and moral dissonance within families
The Fami-LIES Study
Children who lie, typically learn this from a very young age. In early childhood, families provide the basis for the moral education of their children. Parents sometimes lie to children (for example: claiming to leave their child behind when it is misbehaving) or model lying to children (for example: telling someone they love a gift while admitting to their child they dislike it). Socialization of child lying might even be paradoxical: despite occasionally lying or modeling lying, many parents teach their children that lying is wrong. No studies to date have addressed the causes and consequences of these mixed messages or “moral dissonance” in families. In the Fami-LIES study, I will explore and explain how and why parents lie to children, how this contrasts with what they teach, and how lying and moral dissonance relate to child socio-emotional and moral outcomes.
The Fami-LIES Study
Children who lie, typically learn this from a very young age. In early childhood, families provide the basis for the moral education of their children. Parents sometimes lie to children (for example: claiming to leave their child behind when it is misbehaving) or model lying to children (for example: telling someone they love a gift while admitting to their child they dislike it). Socialization of child lying might even be paradoxical: despite occasionally lying or modeling lying, many parents teach their children that lying is wrong. No studies to date have addressed the causes and consequences of these mixed messages or “moral dissonance” in families. In the Fami-LIES study, I will explore and explain how and why parents lie to children, how this contrasts with what they teach, and how lying and moral dissonance relate to child socio-emotional and moral outcomes.
